Caps for Sale

  
     Do you remember that book we read as a kid called Caps for sale by Esphyr Slobodkina ? It was about a hat salesman who carried all his hats on his head, and some monkeys kept stealing his hats? For some reason, I loved that book as a kid, and what seems to be ironic to me at the moment is that this week I have felt like that man-minus the salesman part, oh and the monkey part! Okay, maybe I just feel like I am wearing a lot of hats on my head! I have not thought about this book since I was maybe 10 years old, but while thinking through my urgent to-do list, I suddenly pictured the man walking down the road with all his fine looking hats on top of his head! Where on earth did that memory come from?
 
     I have never quite understood why we refer to our different roles as hats, but the longer I have been in leadership at my job, the more hats or roles I seem to acquire.  Now, I fully admit that I have a hard time saying no, and that I can tend to step into a need if  it is asked of me. But I promise that I have been working really hard on having healthy boundaries and making wise decisions with what I take on my plate. But if you were to look at my life the past 2 weeks, you would not be able to tell that I have grown leaps and bounds in this area. At the end of a long 2 weeks, I have found myself juggling multiple roles and seemingly urgent responsibilities at work. And I am having a hard time knowing what "urgent" task to let go of.

     Maybe we call our roles hats because it is the identity that we need to wear in that moment. It is the tasks that we take on, or the personality thats needed, or even the title sewn on the front.  Team leader, discipler, fundraiser, applicant evaluator, speaker, friend, roommate, daughter, sister, etc. And it seems like a lot of these roles require me to use a different parts of my skill-set, personality, or experience, while the others get put on hold. And depending on the size and importance of the pressing role and hat-it can tend to swallow up other areas of my life. As a result, I find myself with limited time to wear those relational hats, like friend, daughter, sister, etc. I don't want my identity to be governed by the particular role that I am wearing in the moment, rather I'd love to be known in each moment for the whole, rather than the part.

     I am honored to be entrusted with so much at my job, and I really do love and enjoy what I get to do. Which is maybe why I find myself buried under all these hats.  But what I have not seemed to figure out how to do well, is to discern what hats to let drop and which urgent matters are truly urgent.  I am still learning how to remain balanced and secure in each role and responsibility, and to not let my job dictate my identity. This seems like such a rookie lesson of leadership!  If only there were little monkeys in the trees stealing my hats! Unlike the salesman, I would personally be glad to see some go.